Friday 25 March 2011

Poems from 1989-1999



Many of these poems reflect change from girlhood into womanhood, sex, love, passion and youth, my poems were a lot shorter then and quite explicit too :O



Sunbeam radiation - 1994


Sunbeam radiation
develops into life
i feel you move within me
like a slow and twisting knife


Soldiers of love - 1999

Sensibility makes mirrored gestures
takes hold of my once rampant heart
calm reflection

Restoration
rebuilding of bridges
tangible webs of 
deceit, betrayal, anger
all soothed

Life wealthy in my arms
soldiers of love
soldiers of love
soldiers of love


Concubine - 1999

Out of the shell 
emerges revolution
no longer hiding behind solid walls
fluid
languid
she melts into existence
powerful 
perfume

no longer the yes or the no
but a maybe

running alongside the track
jumping the hurdles
obstacles of youth
gaining speed
wisdom the only ailment to the race


Rituals of dance- 1998

as i look out from the window
i can see shadows
i gaze upon them as they weave
in and out of one another
in some strange and wooing sequence

some ritual dance of time
some lost element
unable to voice itself

i sense life 
as it toys with us
drifts
hovers cleverly around doors
as it blends
and soars

i taste dreams
flavours that waft 
around rooms
buildings
portals of souls

rituals of life


Mafioso - 1999

Positively naked
prematurely balding
i see the tops of buildings
scaled down into miniature

They will find us here
where we believe we are safe
they will seek us out
and the history of man before us

the winds of change will encompass
bringing rain
yet sun again and again
the re-birthing begins


Rhapsody- 1999

Changes within me
ocean deep they flow through me
like a mighty rhapsody

i see the changing colours
break the mirrored glass
yet merely touch the hem

for passion consumes the strongest will
takes me into uncharted waters
where wiser women have drowned
in their own blood


sex crazed love junkie - 1999

Sex crazed love junkie
give me a hit
ease it slowly
bit by bit


Squeeze the juice
from every limb
give it up
let me in

Sex crazed love junkie
your soul is food
feed me slowly
feed me crude

Sex crazed love junkie
suck me dry
fuck me slowly
fuck me high
eat me wholly
purge my core
fuck me til 
you cant fuck no more

The field - Leominster 1989

the haunting vision
the field

the past whispers
echoes
has never really left at all

The mist hovers
then elopes in the morn

it does now and it did then


Passion 1994

Passion runs slowly through tiny gaps
in through solid walls and cracks
deeper than wounds
deeper than flesh
deeper than the chords that bind us

passion deepens 
it does more than linger
it overflows
bellows out of shallow caves

screams for something richer, deeper
something living
breathing
a heart beat
pulsating with the red blood of god

The flow - 1993

Subsiding
the flow curls into a droplet
forms itself into silver ore
becomes a stream of light once more

  
The past 1993

The past
the future
fade into nothing and become now
a single time

the essence of life reveals itself 
the path leads nowhere

we love without reason
for love has no reason
deeper than the surface
destiny holds us


Shadows 1999

Shadows falling
be the right time to fall
like a moonstone

shadows awakening
centuries of sleep
wiped from their eyes

shadows moving
within corners of the heart
folding

envelopes of a lost era
lost amongst caverns of regret
lost amongst heroes and saviours
lost amongst the dew of youth
lost amongst the fortitude of age

shadows deemed dark
penetrating
follow the human form
listen at doors
fornicate

non-sensical shadows
falling victim to whim
prey to fancy
some flight

natures compass
gravity
moon shakes
earth quakes
tremors stir
within the sanctuary of hate

gemstones glistening
in the pale silvery light of knowledge

trust abandoned
trust removed
lingers in memory
a reticent host

lost on a sea of dreaming
amongst those images of hope


Chords - 1992

Times chords echoed and dissolve
are we so separate?
is it all illusion?

a fragment of practiced time
sons of destiny
the eternal clock  moves its heavy leaden ed hands
to chime






 











Suitcase full of writing from 1989 to 2000

After sifting through an old suitcase of old poems and writings dating back to when i was 16 years old, i found these lost treasures.

I had written them without really knowing what it is i was writing, i just let it flow out. Now twenty years down the line, it has all slotted into place and makes sense, some of it makes me shudder with recognition.  After my vision quest last year, my life's purpose became more apparent, thus these writings make sense now and i know that spirit has been guiding me all these years. 

1990 -
A notion demonstrates
practices, practices its lessons inside of me

I drank the vultures blood
as it wept from its feathered wounds
It was as bitter and cruel
as the starkness of the moor

Tossed upon the jaws of the rocks
cliffs that mangle hopeful dreamers
wreckage shorn upon their sharp incisors 

Protruding limbs forgo an amputation of spirit
i become a solid particle of clay
a moss eaten mound

Rest i say
listen to my own voice
i belong to this world
i know all there is
reach out into the lightness of acknowledgment grown
take the heart from the animal


1990 -
A slow boat sails downwards
on the streets of sorrow

On the banks of Babylon grows a murmuring
a gathering
failure childes in faces of hope
seeking to inflict mockery

I see you here
alongside us
a fellow awakened too

you are the golden bloom


1990 -
An angel watcheth over me
as if i am to receive soldered wings of shiny stallions
and one day i would find an obtrusive answer
to the lords great quarrels
and speak in an even tone for the gentiles
to follow




Tuesday 22 March 2011

shadow

dishevelled
she climbed from the wooden sides of the bed
wrapping herself in a sheet with a worn hand

"who am I?" 
a disjointed voice reverberates into the cold hanging air

she looks down at her hands within the shaft of light from the window
she is deathly pale, almost translucent
barely even there at all

a vague numbness resides inside her chest
a pulsating hum ringing in her ears
disconnected 
hardly there at all

a murmur in the bed prompts her to turn
her eyes cast down upon the sleeping form next to her
a vile repulsion rises in her throat and all she can think now is
"i must get out of here"

flinging her legs out of the bed
she hurriedly dresses in the dark
fumbling with zips and underwear
her heart pumping fast 
her mission to escape propelling her forwards

She turns then and catches sight of herself in a mirror hanging behind the door
and recoils with horror
she stares at the figure there
with contempt
anguish
fear

she turns and runs from the room
from the house into the night air
her breath cold and billowing
rasping
she looks down to realise she isn't wearing any shoes
panic
she runs
she runs
she runs

until she finds home
locking the doors
closing the curtains
turning out the lights
under the covers she sleeps away feeling

this is the story that leads to now
now 
now
she is locked behind
the walls 
of that night
desperate
alone
frightened

waiting for her own hand
to guide her
out of the darkness


Friday 18 March 2011

Sugar candied delight



deathly sweet
toxic treat
one bite of your sugar candied delight
and im beat

Beauty - Child of the East


within the cave of longing
she bore silence

a silent knawing jewel
polished pearl
glimmering as pure daylight
bespoke
original
luminous

she ran from one side of the cave 
to the other
in awe of its beauty
desperate to shine the light out
unto the untethered strings

the wind whips around her bare ankles
pale, bony skin
just visible within 

shakily she raises her hand to feel the contours
she is neither live nor dead
she is asleep

Who will hear a half lings shriek
as faint as a whisper
lost on the wind 

At once an eagle soars and sweeps
alongside her heart he stoops
gently pulls the chords
and spins
out her dreams

into the sky

fear has rendered her mute
fear has been a silent witness of love
yet now her voice is carried
and she has no choice
but to follow her thread
into the sunlit world

beauty
oh beauty
thy amorous cheeks
shall fall upon 
the world

Thursday 17 March 2011

Siren



i dismantle my heart
piece by piece
i have given it away
to the highest bidder

pull away
tug the strings
of this wounded heart
and watch me unravel
at your feet

you have loved me to death
whilst i was not looking
your multiplicity
dealt the heavy blow

now i have been given a new name
i have become the siren of the sea
yet it is me that has drowned
whilst you walk free

Roots



beneath the trees
the giant oak
the wild sycamore
i am taken

taken down
under moss
below the ground

sinking deeper into knowing
falling deeper into love

dark womb
whose roots wrap me in longing
dark lover
of the sap

chrysalis vines
bloodline of earth
i am yours

faithful arms
i cut out my heart
it is yours

Unspun


your face
is a stranger to me now
your reflection
is the void within

i am new
scrubbed of the debris
moulded to the earth
in all of her contours
she shares

these hands are no longer your hands
these smiles no longer for your touch
the core of everything i am
belongs only to she

i do not turn my face
with sorrow
but with resolution
i answer only to the wind

my beauty is sacred turf
my children are the seeds
i scatter them unto the breeze
in order for them to grow strong and free

moon
goddess of memory
sings
i remember the tune
i have not forgotten
her sweet name

low and behold
her silvery light
unspun
unravelled
the faithful one
am i

I am born

conjure me
from your spell making heart
vast continents were born
from your breath

wrap me in gold
glorious am i
when i am spun
then unspun again
from thy beautiful light
i am made

craft me a heart
of wonder
where jealousy and spite
know no name
where mercy
comes with the kiss
of an angel

call me to your lips
and let me speak truth
each soft caress of the breeze
is thy answer

stake thy claim
on the purity of love
i am bold and brave
embrace the stars
from their clasp
and shine

Tidal streams

the silence strong
lips wrapped as parcels
sinking
swimming
lost in melody

gathering arms
tidal streams
the great surge
and froth

beckoning beckoning
wonder

Monday 14 March 2011

The song

destiny has been duped
fear has been trodden
deep into the furrow
yesterday today tomorrow

sweet multiple liar
choice tongue
duplicated rhyme

spliced open
ragged knife
bulging seams
bulging seams

tear down walls
invented
hidden
soldered together dreams
hold the whisper of  breathe
in the palm of your hand
and blow

blow life through the fabric of songs
tear open the sky

there is no voice
here in the silent realm
there is nothing

life has no song

Wednesday 2 March 2011

Permeate

Feelings, frustrations
slight permeations
gripping and seizing
holding and squeezing
rituals of love
rituals of fear
holding us closer
holding us near

deep assignations
crimes against nations
holders of dreams
schemer of schemes

sell us a story
tell us a tale
twisted up roots
a search for the  grail

the dimly lit silence
the tearful goodbye
the heart wrenching agony
the glint in an eye
each moving motion
has its own perfect hue
a sorrow for me
a pleasure for you

slaves to their tempest
owners in chains
takes salvage in memory
and whatever remains